One Piece of Advice I’d Give to the Younger Version of Myself

And others in their twenties, too

Photo by Blake Wheeler on Unsplash

Last year, I reactivated my Tinder account to give the swipe meta of dating another try. A few weeks into my venture, I landed upon a gorgeous-looking woman who said she was a cat mom and human mom to two boys aged 11 and 7.

I didn’t have much (edit: any) experience dating moms, and my resumé with children was lacking as well.

At any rate, I said, “Hm, why not” and proceeded not just to swipe right, but to super like her.

Some time passed and she ended up liking me back. We started talking about coffee, boomers, and a few other things I can’t really remember. The conversation flowed almost effortlessly, so at one point I told her she was cool, gave her my number, and said to text me if she wanted.

She did. And we carried the convo into texting just the same. With things presumably going well, we decided to go on a date, which is when I learned she lived over an hour away. She seemed pretty awesome, so I offered to drive out to her and picked a Mexican restaurant in her vicinity. The date was set for Saturday night.

On the day of, I ended up doing a lot of work in the morning, and when the time came to start getting ready for that night, doubt flooded my thoughts. I wasn’t sure if it was going to be worth driving that far just for a first date, to meet some stranger on the internet. I wasn’t sure if I was ready to date someone with kids. I was tired, and it would’ve been much easier to just stay at home and relax for the evening.

Long story short, I said, “fuck it” and went.

At the dinner table, she smothered her burrito in an ungodly amount of sour cream (I hate sour cream) before realizing we didn’t check which burrito was who’s (it ended up being hers, not mine). She tripped walking out of the bathroom and almost fell flat on her face. She smiled and, not knowing at the time, had me falling hard for her.

I almost didn’t go on that date because, if left unchecked, my monkey mind prefers the path of least resistance. It doesn’t like change. It doesn’t like adventure. It doesn’t like risk.

That would’ve been one of the worst decisions of my life because she’s one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. We’ve been dating now for several months, and I’m looking forward to much more time with her.

The piece of advice that I’d give myself is to say “fuck it” more often.

The best job I’ve ever had (my current job) was with a company I had never heard of. While waiting for companies like Boeing, BMW, and Eaton to get back to me, I said, “screw it, I’ll go interview with those guys.” And it’s been 100% worth ever since.

The best life experiences I’ve had were spur-the-moment “fuck it, let’s do it” adventures.

The best dates I’ve had are ones that I was reluctant about and came close to canceling.

Time and again, life surprises you.

You can try to plan all you want, but it’s truly the unplanned events that make life spectacular, so put yourself in more situations to allow those to unfold. Most often, you either end up learning highly valuable lessons, having a ton of fun, or welcoming someone special into your life.

And even if whatever you do doesn’t work out, there’s still plenty of time to rebound.

One day you’re going to look back and wish you had done more, because it’s those “fuck it” moments that give you the best stories to tell.

Writer. Engineer. Co-founder Sharing the knowledge I’ve gained through my tiny lens of the world

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