I’m Not Just ‘Dad’. I’m a Husband and…Me.

Maintaining balance between your three lives

Jason Gutierrez
3 min readMay 3, 2024
Photo by Zachary Nelson on Unsplash

A random guy on Twitter gave out some great advice the other day.

When asked:

“For those who are 55+, if you could go back and re-live your 30s/40s again — young kids, demanding career, stretched thin — how would you change how you spent your time and attention, and why?”

One of his answers was:

It’s critical to maintain what I call “the 3 lives”: your life as an individual, your life as a couple, and your life as a family. Too many people sacrifice one or more after having kids and it’s a recipe for trouble. Boundaries are everything!”

As a thirty-something guy with a wife, kids, and a demanding job, this hit home.

I think Nicole and I do better than most at maintaining balance (I may be biased), but we tend to lean toward ‘family life’ more than our personal lives or life as a couple.

Given that we have two kids under two, this is probably normal. Maybe even necessary. Kids command attention, and they need a lot of it.

We’re doing OK for now, but I can see how the focus on myself or my wife could dwindle if not nurtured with intention.

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Jason Gutierrez
Jason Gutierrez

Written by Jason Gutierrez

Engineer. Papa. I share short essays and stories on careers, life, and the creative process 🖊: https://parttimewriting.beehiiv.com/subscribe

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