In the fall of 2017, at the marriage-appropriate age of 28, I married a woman who I had been with for over 3 years. Six months later, we were separated. A year after that, divorced.
Before my marriage, I had no idea who I was, what I wanted, and knew virtually nothing about love and lasting relationships. My dating life looking back felt a bit like playing in a sandbox in the middle of the desert.
However, my short stint in marriage, coupled with the years after that I’ve since spent dating, has taught me a lot about myself and relationships as a whole. …
The other week, the boys and I hit the casino to celebrate a friend’s birthday. While making my rounds scoping out the various slot machines, I noticed a security guard from a distance waving his arms and hollering in my direction. I looked around and pointed to my chest with one of those confused, “Who, me??” expressions.
When he caught up to me, he said, “Hey, yeah you, I need to see your ID.”
My eyebrows raised and my face lit up. Mind you that I had already had my ID checked when I entered the casino. So with an enormous smile, I pulled my driver’s license out of my wallet so that he could confirm that I was, in fact, over the age of 21. When he saw that I was 31, he did a double-take and asked for another form of ID. I whipped out a credit card which he inspected then caved and said, “Hmph. Ok. …
“Don’t judge each day by the harvest you reap but by the seeds that you plant.” -Robert Louis Stevenson
Each day of my life feels like a never-ending struggle to answer one simple question:
Did I do enough today?
Most days I don’t win any awards, earn a million dollars, or receive some other form of tangible “attaboys”. If I were to judge the success of my days by such vanity metrics, I’d be a loser 99% of the time.
Only 1% of the time do things like this happen:
Baltimore Orioles first baseman, Chris Davis, was once one of Major League Baseball’s most-feared juggernauts in the batter’s box. In both 2013 and 2015, he led the majors in home runs and held batting averages of .286 and .262, respectively.
But by the end of 2018 and extending into the 2019 season, Davis led the league in another statistic, one far less dominant than the number of times he blasted a baseball out of the park — most at-bats in a row without a single hit.
Yep, starting September 14, 2018, and ending April 13, 2019, Davis went 0 for 54, marking a historically abysmal stretch of his career and setting the worst hitting streak record in all of MLB history. …
Lots of people ask me how I “cured” my anxiety.
In fact, just the other day, a good friend of mine called me. He’s one of those guys that parties like a rockstar.
Work hard. Play hard.
That type of guy.
Early in the convo, he asked, “Hey, your brother said you’ve been through some shit — like anxiety and stuff. I’m having some problems of my own and wanted to talk about it.”
We spent about an hour talking.
He told me his story — the anxiety, panic attacks, feelings of impending doom — and then I told him mine. …
I was sitting in a conference room with clear, glass walls overlooking the corporate campus where I worked during a rare but beautifully sunny day in Pittsburgh. Leaning back in my chair, arms crossed, I listened to my 50-something-year-old coworker — a project manager — explain to our boss that he didn’t know how to look up documents in the company’s record management system.
After the meeting ended, I was instructed to show him how to do it — a 21-year-old engineering intern training a 30-year veteran on a fundamental aspect of his job. I looked over at a coworker and facepalmed. He laughed and nodded in agreement. …
Marriage is kind of a big deal, which is why if you’re about to embark on the journey of everlasting love, you should know the facts — or at least my highly opinionated facts — based on real-world experiences and advice I’ve received throughout my life.
Here you go.
Three years ago, I married the woman I loved with every fiber of my being.
One time during our 4-ish year relationship, we split. …
Happiness is not my default state of mind.
I learned early in my twenties that happiness is not my default state of mind.
There are certain activities that I must do each day, like a checklist for personal happiness, to ensure my needy little b*itch of a human body feels fulfilled.
When I don’t do these things, I‘m quite miserable.
Because I prefer being happy over sad, I do everything I can on a daily basis to check all the boxes.
The boxes I’m referring to are different personal “needs” that, at some point or another, I realized were important to my well-being. They‘re physical, mental, social, and emotional needs that surely stem somewhere from my childhood and early developmental days. …
One cold, early morning in late January 2018, I woke at 5:30 to let my new puppy relieve himself.
While he did his business, I brewed a pot of coffee then opened my laptop to start writing. About an hour later, I had written a draft of an article that would forever change my views on what was possible writing online.
That evening, I spent another 10 to 15 minutes editing the article before submitting it to The Mission as a freebie (not behind Medium’s paywall) to the world.
I settled on the title, “The 50/30/10/10 Rule for How to Wake Up Earlier and Work on Your Dream”. …